02:14 · Worker #1 adjusted petal #47
14:33 · Worker #2 misted the stems
21:09 · Worker #3 played them a song
By claiming these roses, you agree to the following.
§1. Acceptance of care. You acknowledge these roses were bought, kept, and quietly preserved for you. By accepting, you agree to look after them. Digitally. Somehow.
§2. No regifting. These roses cannot be passed on, reassigned, or returned to sender. They came with your name on them.
§3. Acknowledgement of effort. You confirm that someone went to faintly ridiculous lengths (emotional, creative, technical) to make sure these flowers never properly died.
§4. The rotten clause. You agree not to raise the matter of the original roses wilting. That part was out of our hands. You know what happened. 🌹
§5. Minimum obligation. In accepting, you agree to, at the very least, admit these roses exist. That is the entire obligation. Just admit it.
§6. Jurisdiction. This agreement is governed by the laws of feelings, which remain sadly uncodified under English law.
(we both know you skimmed. that is allowed.)